I have Opened myself up to ME

I wake and greet the dawn with open arms. I open my heart and I let myself glow - emitting my light to the universe. I am loving the essence that is me - I am making my heart's desire manifest.
My prayer comes forth from my heart onto the universe - I am thankful to be a part of all the blooming of hearts that I see. There is great things happening now here in earth and I am in the middle of it all because my heart is open and I am accepting of my own essence, of who I truly am.
This is my prayer to God and to the earth and to all my fellow being here in both body and spirit. We are the New Age - we are the one who will lead the way. We will show our good will and cooperation and there will be abundance in all we do. I now declare this the first day of the new religion - a religion without rules except for one - Love all. We strive to open out hearts and to make this day and all days beautiful.

A Deep Sense of Loss

Today I feel a deep sense of loss. I feel that I am at a place where I do not want to be. I am at a place where there is very little support and I feel that I need to ask for help to the heavens above because I do not seems to make things happen right now.
My feeling sets in as I made myself go crazy today and I yelled and screamed. There was a lot nothing going on in my heart and I realized that I am not home - that I truly have no home and that I will have to make a home for myself - I wonder if I can do that. I wonder if there is a place for me anymore in this world.
I do not seem to be saying anything that is from the heart - I am going through the motions and I wonder why I am low in energy. I used to think that people would listen but I used to think that I had something to say. Now I do not know.
I feel deep in my heart and I know that I would love to be with people who love living and did not have so many problems. Or with people who wanted to get better. I thought that I was one of those people but now I am not sure. I have been looking at myself with a sense reflection - the world mirrors me - what does my world look like.
Some people smile and some people do not until they know me.I guess that I have to get myself out there more. I guess I have to try better. I guess I have to find a magazine and to publish my poetry. That is where I will start.

Fellowship

Today I am making a concerted effort to connect with more like minded people. I posted a note on facebook about spirituality and I reacheds out to a person who has found my poetry website. I want to put the creative spark out there - to see what people will come up with. I want my light to be found but I also wish to find the light of others. This is the key I feel to my growth and progression as a spiritual being. Reaching out and making our light and voices heard.
Last night, I felt quite peaceful and powerful. This lead to a dream in which I befriended a guy and we tried to race with another set of guys - they caught me and then I woke up. I was happy to have met him. So I am bridging that dream segment by reaching out to others.

Forcing It - the opposite of Let it be

Spirit like any other entity does not like to be forced. We cannot schedule how the world of spirit descends upon our world. It just happens. Nor can we force through mantras, yoga breaths, or prayers, Spirit to appear. When you are ready the lesson is presented by the Guru.
You would think that I know all these things, I do. You would think that I would not try to force Spirit to come to me, but I did. As long ago as last night.
The temptation after having been visited by Spirit is to think that you are something special - I did. The truth is that we all are something special - so there is no spiritual elite-ness associated with a visit from Spirit. There is only the lesson/message that Spirit gives you.
Last night, I had been hoping to duplicate the visit I had from Spirit the previous night - what I got instead was a different message - Let It Be.
I was hoping for some clarification of my message - what I got was another message - take some time and see what happens then ask for help. So I am Letting it Be - for now.
I am always hoping for more from Spirit but now I am chilling. (for now).

First the Wind, then Taos

Last night I had quite an interesting adventure. It all started when I was walking outside around nine o'clock PM. I felt a wind rush up to greet me.
In the past year, I have learned how to become friends with the winds of the world. Each wind is different in feel and nature (temperment). To become friends with a wind, you must sing your song to them. This does not mean you actually sing, but you could if you wanted to. Your song is the your truth - what lies in your heart. To sing your song, you must open your heart to the wind and let your truth sing forth. opening your heart allows the love to flow forth from your center - you must direct that love to the wind (just a thought of good will like - love you, Mr. wind). Then you must wait for the wind to come to you.
You will know this because it will seem that the wind is encircling you - touching you from one direction and then turning around and reversing direction (hey, winds aren't supposed to do that you might say but hey winds are not supposed to be living beings too - yet in the Shaman's world they can and are).
This wind told me its name and told me a message which I did not realize till later.
Later, I used some energy healing on my partner and suddenly I felt as if something within me was turned on or ignited. I felt full of energy and I was able to focus on sending energy healing long distance and then I was able to focus on seeking a compadre in the spiritual healing world.
I was able to locate him and then he started to give me directions to where he was located. He also said that when I get there he will know it so he will find me. (all this happened on the spiritual plane, mind you, words are not needed but sometimes it feels as if we are talking.)
I could have stayed up all night but at about 4 AM I recieved a sign that it was time for me to stop and sleep.
Then I had a dream in which there were two spiritual people and I had to choose which one to be with. All in all it was an interesting night.

What happened ?

Yesterday, I was geeked about discovering a facet of who I really am. But today, I was very down, I could not see the light at the end of tunnel. I saw things in tones of only dark.Even when I was busy, I was still down. My niece bought me a gift and I could barely say thank you.

One explanation, I have for this is related to the books of Carlos Castenda. He claimed that humans are in reality balls (egg shaped) of light. he claimed that there was an area on the surface of the ball that interpreted the incoming energy and translated it into the world we see around us. He called this area your 'assemblage point' (the point where the world is assembled). He claimed that if the point moved, one would experience a different world depending which way it moved and how much it moved. He said that a blow to the head might move the assemblage point so that one might see 'stars'.
Well, getting back to me, I might have experienced just that - a move of the assemblage point to the point of no joy. However, I did it - there is one thing I want to say - I don't want to go back there again. Yuck.

Another explanation is a scarier one. There are 'things' in this world which we cannot see but which feed off our bad moods, literally on our negative emotions such as fear. One of those beings could have been feeding off me but I do not think so. My choice right now is the first explanation.

One other thing - somehow I knew my mood was temporary. I kept telling people who were listening to me bitch - to not take my seriously - it is my time of the month, I joked but I did not laugh. I hope no other woman or man has periods like I had today.

Tonight, I will try to create a dream, both in this world and in dreamtime.

In Honor of My New Found Self

Today, I found myself giving advice about writing poetry. One of the questions, I asked was a question I needed to answer myself:

What are you trying to say?
Do you have the right words to say what you mean ?

Okay, that is two questions. But it is a good illustration of how the words used in a writing work can defeat the message trying to be sent.
What I really want to say is this:
In the course of my helping someone get their message across, I came upon myself - a piece of my spirit.
I want to show people how to empower themselves through self-discovery by using the only model I have - myself.
This blog will be my daily journey into the world of spirit, my soul, and how all that relates to the physical world. I feel as if I am shedding my chrysalis - I feel as if I am ready to fly.
Hope your days are as full of life as you can handle,
Frank